Despite many posts requesting the contrary, I keep getting e-mails and contact requests regarding the Magus of Java or the Mo Pai. I have stated repeatedly that I have not been a member of the Mo Pai for a decade. I had not foreseen the development of youtube or the extreme loss of overall IQ among the general populace when I wrote the book in 1999 – otherwise I would have never written it. I mean, come on, guys, you are not very clever; think about it: The reason you know my real name in the first place, is because I no longer have an active interest in the subject matter of the book. And, very important, I have no interest in taking your money. Which means, in order for me to bother with you in the first place, you have to catch my interest as a human being. Please note that I retain the ancient Greek conviction that expressing your opinion is not a right, but a privilege that must be earned and maintained through constant contribution and growth.

So here is what is going to happen: if you write to me about the Magus of java or the Mo Pai or any related subject, I will turn you over to my buddy Wooz. Now, Wooz owns a bar, is very old, unpleasant, smells very bad, and looks like a zombie. As such, he has a sparkling personality that is fait accompli the inevitable result of his good looks. Wooz is apt to answer your questions with retorts like: “YOU ARE DUMB! F@@K YOU! I HAVE CRUSHED YOU!” (Insert choice of verb or noun: fink, fork, folk, funk, etc). Along with Wooz’s reply, he will most likely post your name and e-mail address. I still get a couple e-mails a day (and yes, many people wonder why I do not simply charge 400 dollars a pop, but that is not me and never has been), so probably what will happen is that Wooz will gather the results and hoist up each fool on his own petard at the end of the month.

I am sure you do not want that, unless YOU ARE DUMB.

My advice? Stay away from Wooz.